The Long Dark Marathon of the Soul 2015: Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979), directed by Robert Wise

The Trailer

and

The Appropriate Tune: "Star Trek Theme", by Leonard Nimoy

R.I.P. Leonard Nimoy

     I don’t know how it happened, but at some point I became a fan of Star Trek. Not that I’d call myself a trekkie or trekker or whatever label obsessive Star Trek fans like to label themselves, the idea of watching Voyager or Enterprise still doesn’t appeal to me, but I still find myself interested in the series more so than the average person. If I had to make a definitive statement, I’d say it likely has something to do with watching through The Next Generation, which I fondly remember catching occasionally back when G4/TechTV was still a thing, which lead me to watching some of the original series, and which will likely lead me to watching Deep Space Nine in the future. I just can’t get enough of it, seems like. It may not be the best television in the world, in fact a lot of it can be embarrassingly dumb at times, but what makes Star Trek good (when it’s good) is the strength of its cast; their unique personalities and the way those personalities play off of each other. Plus the fact that there are like three other sci-fi shows worth watching means you don’t have much choice either way.

     Since all the TNG movies suck ass, I decided to go with the first of them all, Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Released at the start of the space movie craze (Star Wars and Close Encounters of the Third Kind had come out two years prior, Alien released earlier that year and Flash Gordon would come a year later) and 10 years after Star Trek had gone off the air, TMP takes place several years after the Enterprise’s famous year mission to boldly go where no man has gone before. It seems that there’s a enormous death cloud out in space with destructive capabilities far beyond that of mortal ken, and it just so happens to be making a beeline towards Earth. It’s up to Admiral James T. Kirk to get the band back together, glue the Enterprise back together and save the day yet again. Now with 100% more hot bald chicks!

     Star Trek: The Motion Picture retells a story that had already been played out several times over the course of 79 episodes: The Enterprise encounters an omnipotent being which puts her crew in danger, and lessons in the value of humanity and insight into ourselves is had by all. In that regard, like Pacific Rim, the appeal in my opinion isn’t so much the story (which is worthwhile, considering they got Isaac Asimov to consult on it) as it is the visuals. This film takes its time to lavish over every bit of scenery it can, whether it’s going over every single inch of the Enterprise or the breathtaking view of the death cloud’s interior, and it works out works out just as well if not better than A New Hope. This was the film that legitimized a cultural phenomenon and established a franchise that’s still going 30+ years, and it shows.

     The major flaw? No action. Perhaps Gene Roddenberry was a big fan of 2001: A Space Odyssey at the time, because there are a lot of long cinematic shots and guys floating in space but not that much energetic conflict. The death cloud, or Vger if you’d prefer, is not so much an antagonist as a force of nature, and much of the film’s time is spent on the task of attempting communication with it or crew tension. There’s nothing wrong with that approach, the mission statement is all about exploring after all, but the original series was a show that thrived on action, and so the lack of it is much more noticeable than it might be if Star Trek wasn’t in the title. Pop culture would seem to agree with me, as The Wrath of Khan is a much more action-oriented film, and is generally considered the better film. Though that might just be because of Ricardo Montalban’s luscious pecs.

     Halloween, like most of our society, has become increasingly nerdy over the years, but much more cynical. Things that we should love we get angry about, and in turn we tear down others. This year, why not put down the pitchforks and the torches and join together in the spirit of peace and cooperation, much like the Federation in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Just for a moment, among the ghosts n’ goblins, we can believe that one day mankind can rise above the hatred and bigotry that has marked our past and achieve things far greater than we ever expected, that one day utopias could be the norm, rather than the ideal. One day.

     And then you can go back to eating candy.