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The Appropriate Tune - "Magic Dance" by David Bowie
As a cult movie blog owner, I’ve gone on and on about how good the 1980s was, at least in that small, incredibly niche field. I mean I’ve covered plenty of 80s movies over the years, I haven’t counted in a while but I’d say they cover a significant portion of my total reviews, and I still haven’t even scratched the surface. Even discounting those films that I’ve seen but are so ubiquitous that covering them seems unnecessary, like Star Wars or Indiana Jones, there’s still enough there to cover a Marathon on its own. Like shit dude, what about The Neverending Story? What about Wargames? Romancing the Stone? The Breakfast Club? That’s a lot of nonexistent money being left on the table.
So why not cross one of those 80s also-rans off the list already, before I change my mind and pick some random bullshit instead? Released in 1986, Labyrinth was directed by Muppets master Jim Henson, written by Monty Python member Terry Jones (with assistance by Henson, Laura Phillips, Elaine May and George Lucas), story by Henson and Dennis Lee and produced by Eric Rattray through Henson Associates Inc. and Lucasfilm. Jennifer Connelly plays Sara, a young girl whose dreams of the theater are consistently thwarted by her stepmother and her infant brother Toby. One night, after being saddled with babysitting duty yet again, Sara recalls a line from her favorite story, “The Labyrinth”, and unwittingly wishes for goblins to show up and take Toby away. She immediately regrets that decision when said goblins do show up to take her brother away, and she stands face to face with Jareth, the Goblin King (David Bowie). Jareth offers Sara gifts in exchange for her brother’s life, but when she refuses he transports her into the mystical world of Labyrinth. If she can reach the Goblin King’s castle at the center of the maze in 12 hours then Toby shall be saved, Jareth says, but if she doesn’t then Toby shall be changed into a goblin and be lost forever. Labyrinth is a bizarre place where tricks and traps lie around every corner, so Sara is going to have to rely on her wits and the help of the friends she makes along the way. Yet Jareth is behind every corner, watching and scheming...
While Jim Henson was and still is firmly connected with the concept of children’s entertainment, the man himself considered his work more universal and so capable of handling something darker in tone. We saw it in The Dark Crystal but Labyrinth is arguably a better example of that idea. Labyrinth is not your typical fairy tale world. It is a decaying mess caught between the medieval and the modern, made up of crumbling ruins, stinking bogs and trash-covered landfills and full of creatures that run the gamut from ugly to sleep paralysis demons. Yet in spite of this nightmarish setting Labyrinth is still in the fairy tale mold; There is danger but not necessarily death, there is risk but it is principally in how Sara goes about overcoming these challenges. Not unlike the novel Alice in Wonderland really, which I believe is a direct influence on this film (and right up Terry Jones’ alley), a story which was literally written for a child but which has gained a significant older following since its publication.
I mentioned The Dark Crystal earlier, and I must say it’s wild how the films apparently had around the same budget and yet Labyrinth looks so much better. The cinematography and set design builds Labyrinth into this distorted, almost German Expressionist dreamland so well, it really feels like Henson and his crew were pushing themselves to try new things, and the amount and variety of puppetry and practical effects are incredible. Which isn’t to knock Dark Crystal, but one of my contensions with that film was that some of the puppets were simple or non-expressive, particularly in regards to the protagonist. In Labyrinth each creature Sara comes across feels like a unique, living thing. Even the goblins, who are the most generic given their numbers still have a degree of variety to them that makes them stand out. Labyrinth is certainly more Muppets-esque than Dark Crystal, so you might give the latter the point for originality, but I believe Labyrinth accomplishes what it’s trying to do much easier than Dark Crystal. That wall of hands alone might have put it over the top.
Of course you can’t talk about Labyrinth without talking about David Bowie, there’s a good chance that many people if they know anything about Labyrinth at all it’s because of Bowie’s role as Jareth the Goblin King. That Bowie’s appearance as Jareth has improved the film’s longevity doesn’t make it a good performance. As it was with The Man Who Fell to Earth, David Bowie playing some kind of glam rock trickster god who plays with glass balls and turns into an owl seems like a natural fit, but he never seems all that comfortable around a camera and it leads to a rather wooden performance. Something which Jennifer Connelly suffers from a tad in the beginning, but I think she manages to mellow out as the film goes on. Jareth is more entertaining to watch than Bowie’s character in The Man Who Fell to Earth certainly, as you’d expect from the living answer to the question ‘what if Snow White’s wicked stepmother dressed like Khan from Star Trek II?’, but in a one-dimensional type of way. When they do attempt depth, like with the Sara/Jareth romance angle, it just doesn’t take. Not because it’s creepy, which it is, but because Bowie doesn’t sell it at all. He’s stoic or haughty, and that's about it. To say Labyrinth is Bowie’s best film work would be technically accurate, but that’s about all you could say.
You get somebody like David Bowie in your film and you expect to get some songs, and so it is here, but my feelings on Bowie’s musical contributions to Labyrinth aren’t that much different than his acting ones: the idea of it is cooler than the reality. As someone who prefers Hunky Dory and Young Americans over 90 percent of the rest of Bowie’s catalog I’m biased, but I didn't get anything out of his overwrought 80s ballads on this soundtrack. ‘Dance Magic’ was the only one that stood out to me, a jaunty pop number with a touch of world music to give it some character, which was likely the opinion of the filmmakers as well considering they used it three times. The ‘voodoo’ call and response part of the song is lame as hell though, even when Bowie is singing it with a Muppet it’s still lame as hell. Thumbs up to Trevor Jones conversely, who composed the score for this film as well as the score for The Dark Crystal, Dark City and Time Bandits. The man puts in solid work.
These are the things one must keep in mind when watching Labyrinth, that’s it’s not really about pathos and it’s not really looking to explain how The Labyrinth exists in the real world or anything like that. The darker tone may lead you to believe that it would be, but no, this is a fairy tale where dogs ride other dogs like horses and rather than being killed, folks are dipped into a swamp that smells really bad. It’s absurd, you’d expect nothing less from Terry Jones working with Muppets, but it doesn't go beyond that.Your ability to accept this will determine whether or not you’ll enjoy this movie.
Labyrinth was not a commercial success upon its release, only making back around half its budget at the box office, which ironically is the exact opposite of what happened 4 years previously with The Dark Crystal. Still it has persisted, and in spite of all the 80s cheeze and pop stars trying to act there’s a fun movie there. You’re also not likely to see a Hollywood movie with this much puppetry ever again in this age of CGI, which is a point in its favor. Labyrinth gets the recommendation. Whether you’re a parent looking for something to watch with their kids this Halloween or some 20-something looking for something to riff on with friends over discord because parties are extinct in this post-covid world, Labyrinth makes a solid addition to the watchlist. As The World Falls Down, why not turn to cinema?
