The Long Dark Marathon of the Soul 2019: 11 Harrowhouse (1974), directed by Aram Avakian

The Trailer

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The Appropriate Tune: "Diamonds and Rust", by Joan Baez

       Sometimes it feels as if there is something of a square-rectangle situation when it comes to heist films. After all a heist film is just a subgenre of the crime film, and all a crime film needs to be considered so is to be centered around the nebulous field of crime. Either they are about criminals themselves or about those trying to catch criminals, and there are myriad possibilities when it comes  to the subject matter. Bank robberies, con artists, organized crime, even serial killers, as long as the film's central narrative deals with activities outside the law of its setting, then it can be considered a ‘crime film’. Just as a science fiction film ideally deals with some concept explained of theorized by science or a sword and sandals needs at least one sword and a pair of sandals, so too must a crime film have crime.

       A heist movie is more than just a crime movie though. Having the goal placed before you, seeing the characters build a plan from the ground up and seeing them execute it with clockwork precision (or not, as the case may be), there’s a methodology and artistry to it that’s fascinating to see in motion. Well it can be fascinating at the very least, I think a lot more people were invested in Ocean’s Eleven than they were Ocean’s Thirteen, and I don’t know if anyone knew The Sting even had a sequel. Still, if you’re looking for an easy way to build some suspense, have some folks steal something valuable from people who don’t want it stolen. Preferably people who are huge assholes so you don’t feel bad about them losing their valuable shit.  

       A British production but directed by an American, 11 Harrowhouse stars Charles Grodin (who also adapted the screenplay) as H.R. Chesser, a salesman whose job revolves around buying diamonds from London’s prestigious diamond supplier, located at 11 Harrowhouse, in order to sell them in New York. Chesser thinks himself as something of a schmuck, and it’s not hard to see where he’s coming from; He’s basically a glorified middleman, the men at Harrowhouse dislike him which means he gets stiffed when he tries to do business with them, and when you’re traveling to London six times a year that deficit is just going to increase. It’s the kind of situation that makes you jump at any deal you can get, and when industrialist Clive Massey offers him a million bucks to get a diamond for him, Chesser jumps. A million dollar diamond which is then promptly stolen, without any insurance or identification to say that the diamond had ever existed at all, and the finger of suspicion is pointed towards ‘the system’ taking back what was theirs. Yet another roadblock in the life of H.R. Chesser it seems, but Clive Massey offers a potential solution: Just rob 11 Harrowhouse. They’ve got 12 billion dollars worth of diamonds locked away in their vault, steal them and a million dollar debt will vanish like dust in the wind. So easy a child could do it, right? Also starring Candice Bergen as Chesser’s rich girlfriend Maren and James Mason as Watts.

       11 Harrowhouse is an odd duck of a movie. On the one hand, it has elements that I might attribute to noir films: the down-on-his-luck protagonist narrating to us throughout the course of the film, a morally ambiguous cast, and of course it doesn’t shy away from death. Yet at the same time there’s this relaxed atmosphere permeating the film that reminds one of those breezy European sex comedies of the period, Bruno Mattei and the like, and taking a brief dip towards the absurd for a while in the climax. I’ve seen it described as a spoof, which I suppose might be an adequate definition, but to be honest if it were intended to be a comedy then it was far too mild to be a good one. That could be a regional thing of course, raised on the films of Mel Brooks as I was my taste for spoofs may steer towards the broad, but I never thought of 11 Harrowhouse as a comedy once while I was watching it. Silly at times, but far too grounded to be a comedy.

       The crux of that issue lies with 11 Harrowhouse’s lead actor, Charles Grodin. I’m not familiar with Mr. Grodin’s acting work, but in this film he seems to have chosen one facial expression and kept it up through the entire film. Even his voiceover, which is more expressive than just about anything he does on screen sounds like he’s mumbling it himself on the subway. Now it could be argued that this milquetoast portrayal is intentional, juxtaposing the fact that he’s this mild-mannered guy, nebbish guy despite selling diamonds for a living, having an heiress as a girlfriend for the purposes of comedy, and masterminding a 12 billion dollar diamond heist, and I can certainly see that being the case. That being said, if he’s meant to be Woody Allen in Clint Eastwood’s body, I would have preferred they lean into that more, because as it is he feels like such a non-entity that occasionally I barely notice him on screen. The rest of the cast is fine, I like James Mason, Candice Bergen is good despite existing in this weird dimension of being a driving force of the film and a side character at the same time, it’s just Charles Grodin the human tranq dart that’s the odd man out.

       Despite that, I actually liked 11 Harrowhouse. A decent heist film with an imagination, it’s a film very of its time; From the smooth, smooth lounge music in the score down to how characters are shot talking in cars, it all points to a film that could have only been made in the early 70s. Since I happen to be into that style, shout out to my boy Lupin the 3rd, I don’t have a problem giving it the recommendation. I don’t think it’s going to be blowing anyone’s mind, but get yourself a glass of wine, maybe an 800,000 dollar diamond or two and have yourself a nice evening.