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The Appropriate Tune: 'The Immaculate Conception' by Jedi Mind Tricks
Once more into the breach with Mr. Clive Barker. You know it’s a bit surprising that netflix or some other streaming service hasn’t called ol’ Clive up and got some adaptations going. There was that remake of Candyman, sure, but I imagine a lot of people don’t even realize it was an adaptation, much less one written by Barker. If Amazon can drop a billion dollars on a Lord of the Rings show that no one asked for, surely we could get some scratch to see more Clive on the silver screen, especially at a time when the FX for TV shows can finally keep up with the material. I’m sure he’d appreciate it too, if only to give him something to do that isn’t Hellraiser.
Anyway released in 1995, Lord of Illusions was written and directed by Clive Barker and produced by Barker, Joanne Sellar, Steve Golin and Sigurjon Sighvatsson through Seraphim Productions, based on the Clive Barker story “The Last Illusion”. Scott Bakula stars as Harry D’Amour, a private investigator with one foot firmly planted in the supernatural, whether he wants to or not. While in L.A. investigating an insurance fraud case, Harry stumbles upon a fortune teller being murdered by two men, a weirdo with heterochromia and no eyebrows and a skinhead with pointed teeth who manages to not die even after getting punched out of a second story window. This leads him to Dorothea Swann (Famke Janssen), wife of famous magician Philip Swann, who fears for her husband’s life. It seems that this fortune teller and Swann go way back, 13 years in fact, back when they and a couple others frequented a cult lead by a man named Nix, who was a magician as well. When Nix decided to go from sacrificing animals to people Swann and his merry band killed him, sealed his powers and buried him in a hole, but with people turning up dead one is left to wonder if being dead is all it’s cracked up to be these days. Harry takes the case, but little does he know that when you’re walking this fine path between heaven and hell, you’re bound to spot a couple demons.
A detective story with a supernatural twist. Not exactly an uncommon combo, in fact we’ve covered several such films in the Marathon over the years (In the Mouth of Madness, Wolfen, The Believers), but it is surprising to see it coming from Clive Barker. This is the man who brought us Hellraiser and Nightbreed after all, even Rawhead Rex had some psychosexual themes under all the crap, that he would put out a spooky film noir when given the director’s chair seems out of character for him. Yes there’s plenty of blood and gore you’ve come to expect from a Barker story, but I mean, the story takes place in Los Angeles, the protagonist is a private investigator, there’s a beautiful yet mysterious woman who is immediately attracted to the P.I., the antagonist with a sidekick, and on and on. You’d think this would be setting up for some kind of subversion of those tropes as in Mouth of Madness, but no it’s played completely straight. Aside from the supernatural elements and the gore you could play this alongside any Hammett or Chandler adaptation. So I would have called it the safe move from Barker, but really how many people were trying the pulp noir throwback at this point in time? Besides Warren Beatty, and we know how that turned out.
Of course it wouldn’t be a Clive Barker movie without the gorey special effects, and while Lord of Illusions is comparably tamer than Hellraiser or Candyman it still manages to scratch that itch, particularly during the climax. I especially like the moments where characters see with ‘true sight’, I'm not sure whether that was accomplished by camera tricks on a practical effect or if it was done through CGI, but it looks very bizarre in a good way. I assume it’s CG because there’s another scene where that uses it, and this would be around the time that practical effects and CGI would be at equilibrium. Obviously the practical stuff looks better on screen, but Barer manages to use it in a visually interesting way, and in any case I’ve gained a fondness for old janky CG.
The decision to cast Scott Bakula as the lead was…questionable. Now I like Bakula well enough -- Quantum Leap is a fun show and I didn’t even hate him all that much in Star Trek: Enterprise, despite his character being the writing equivalent of a paper cut on your scrotum, but both of those roles play to his strengths; characters that are morally upright if kind of dorky guys. Seeming him trying to pull off a Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe type character, I just can’t take him seriously, and that’s entirely down to my perception rather than his performance. Conversely I think David von Bargen was perfect casting as Nix, exactly as you’d picture a cult leader out in the Mojave desert to look. Famke Janssen makes for a believable femme fatale, and we even get an appearance by Vincent Schiavelli, which is always a treat.
Add on to the fact that, while the noir throwback is novel it doesn’t really move beyond those trappings. Yeah it’s got that creepiness and gore that Clive Barker is known for, but it does a lot of setup between Harry’s backstory and the nature of magic and reality in this world and just leaves a lot on the table. Going back to Hellraiser yet again, the core of that film was familiar, deals with the devil, demons and what not, but the way that Barker reinterpreted those concepts felt unique. Lord of Illusions by contrast tries to marry this by the book noir tropes, you'd think Barker had The Big Sleep by his nightstand while writing the screenplay, to some early 90s Vertigo edginess, and the whole thing ends up feeling dissonant. Not horrible, not unwatchable, just…off.
Lord of Illusions gets the mild recommendation then. Of all the Clive Barker adaptations that I’ve covered, it's by far the tamest and the easiest to watch in polite company, which might be the most damning praise I could possibly give to a horror movie. If you liked In the Mouth of Madness then you’ll probably enjoy this well enough, but it’s definitely not as engaging as that film. If you liked Cool World though this film is way better, so be sure to set your expectations appropriately this holiday season.
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