When I first heard of this film, A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, which I believe was last year, I was very much interested in covering it on the Marathon. I mean when you’re more-or-less stuck with covering only horror and science fiction movies (with a couple of exceptions), it’s rare that you get to see women directors or films with a strong Middle Eastern influence, and even rarer that you get both in one go. Plus it was apparently critically acclaimed, which as a horror/sci-fi fan is also uncommon, unfortunately. Overall it seemed like a nice change of pace and, much like it was with Trollhunter, this felt like the year to do it.
Unfortunately, I didn’t like it. At all.
I can see why it would be popular, of course. Great cinematography, good use of lighting and music, it’s very atmospheric. Or rather it would be if it wasn’t used up on scenes where emotionless 20 somethings stare at each other, occasionally speaking a few sentences before lapsing back into silence. At least with Coffee & Cigarettes, another movie I reviewed and didn’t like, there was plenty of dialogue to sift through and analyze, in fact that was the only thing available. In A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night it’s exactly the opposite, you spend your time sitting there praying that something it going to happen, that there’s going to be some kind of conflict that initiates action, but no. 140 minutes of a complete non-climax ladies and gentlemen, really makes you feel like you spent your time wisely, right?
Also it turns out that this isn’t really a horror movie after all, despite the fact that I keep finding this thing in various horror sections. Yeah the titular ‘Girl’ is a vampire, and she does kill a couple people, but the fact that she is a vampire is such a non issue in the overall plot it might as well not even be in the film. She never has to rush home before daylight, never confronted with garlic or holy symbols, never exhibits any real vampiric powers, she could just be some weird woman and literally nothing would change about the plot, so what’s the fucking point? They also throw around terms like ‘western’, which doesn’t really make any sense beyond the stark landscape and the occasional Morricone-esque music sting, and romance, which I assume refers to these two protagonists who barely talk to each other over three conversations and never smile once (shows what I know about love, I guess), but I’m not really buying it. Also that it’s a feminist movie, which...I guess is true? I mean the main character seems to have barely any emotions, threatens children and murders several people without remorse and gets away with it, but two of the three people she kills you could say were asking for it, so maybe that’s where that comes from? I dunno.
Not the best review you’ve ever read I imagine, but I think it’s obvious my heart just isn’t in it to try and expand on my thoughts. Just a movie where you watch people staring at each other and the points don’t matter. Who knows, you might find something great in here that I didn’t. It’s not really much of a Halloween movie though, so keep that in mind when movie night rolls around. And if you’re going out that, remember to use the buddy system. For your sake as well as ours.
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