The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi (2007), directed by October Kinsley

For some reason there's a bit of a problem when it comes to the year this film was released. The year stated on the video (from the youtube channel tromamovies, for all your troma movies needs) is 2007, but the year given on the trailer and Ms. Dunaway's wikipedia page gives it as 2009, while the wiki list of Troma Video Titles lists it as being released in 2008. I will be using 2007 as the year of the movie's release in the title and the following entry, simply because that was the first year I saw and I don't feel like rewriting anything. Enjoy.

The Trailer
and
The Appropriate Tune: "Sex With Me", by Rihanna

     Jesus fucking Christ, this movie. 

     I can’t figure out how to do a damn entry because of this movie. I know I originally had something about the history of Troma (the distributor of this particular film) in here, and how I had a great respect for Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz for doing so much for the art of independent filmmaking. Then I was going to describe the nature of Troma movies; the outlandish plots, the cartoonish levels of ultra-violence and sleaze oozing from its greasy orifices, the actors who can’t act, the best special effects 30 bucks can buy, etc. I was then going mention that this joy de vivre was actually a bit endearing, that if Rocky and Charlie Chaplin and pretty much every sports movie is anything to go by we love cheering for the underdog, and Troma is the Benji of moving pictures (which is just Benji, I guess). Finally, I would throw out my endorsements for The Toxic Avenger, Killer Condom, and Class of Nuke’em High, Troma films that I consider the cream of the crop.

     However, not all Troma movies are Benji, folks. Some Troma are Zuul and Vinz Clortho, vicious hellhounds spawned from ancient gods , that leap out from the inky black shadows of the night to rip your throat out and terrorize Rick Moranis.

     Also I just reused the opening from my Easy Rider entry without meaning to. Shit.

     The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi is directed, produced, written, AND stars October Kinsley, which is what I like to call ‘a bad sign’. Ms. Kinsley portrays the titular Doctor Anna Fugazzi, an abnormal psychiatrist and therapist who looks a bit like a gremlin and dresses as if she were birthed from a My Chemical Romance music video. A college graduate at the age of 15 (right), Dr. Fugazzi runs a successful practice treating ‘crazy’ folks, including a pedophile who carries his dog Adolf around with him wherever he goes, an agoraphobic fortune teller who believes her neighbour is the devil, and a hip young kleptomaniac. Oh, and everyone likes and respects her, and she totally has tons of kinky sex with her super cute boyfriend and all her cool sexy friends, presumably on a picture of Tim Burton’s face.

     But not all is well in the House of Fugazzi. It seems that Anna has been suffering from horrible headaches as of late, headaches accompanied by bizarre visions of bloody floors and strange leather-wearing men in white rooms. When her patients begin to mention men in black hoods, seemingly representations of Death itself, those same figures begin to appear in her dreams as well, thrusting Anna Fugazzi into a mind bending psychosexual thriller. Or October Kinsley’s attempt at one, which turns out is absolutely not the same thing.

     You might think I’m being glib because I obviously didn’t like this movie, but everything I just wrote is exactly as it is presented. I would say this is what 16 year old girls who identify themselves as ‘vampires’ on myspace think life should be like, but I honestly can’t remember if myspace was still alive back in 2007 (I’m surprised I remember myspace at all). Taking on multiple roles in a film’s development is not an uncommon thing, but the reason it’s not standard practice is because it’s actually really fucking difficult to split your attention across several ways and still make something that’s halfway coherent. Sure, Mel Brooks and Christopher Guest and I’m sure a few others pull it off, but they are obviously more the exception than the rule. Watching The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi is like reading a really bad fanfiction (so an average fanfiction), where a new girl is admitted into Hogwarts and somehow she’s already a master wizard who Harry and Draco fall in love with at first sight. And also she’s part fox for some reason?

     For a film puts so much emphasis on sexuality, this film doesn’t feel that much more racy than something you would see on cable TV. Sure, I guess there’s whipping and chains and such, but is s&m really the scandalous fetish that it was decades ago?Hell, you could turn on Comedy Central on right now and there’d be someone in a gimp mask on TV, just hanging out. You don’t even get to see a bare breast but for a few scant seconds, in a movie where the whole fucking image is built around sex, and that’s goddamn ridiculous. Naked breasts are a cornerstone of the Troma entertainment empire, and yet the movie that has someone getting a whip lashed across their chest is too modest for nudity? Seriously?

     The only positive thing I feel about this movie is the fact that they got Faye Dunaway, who is fucking awesome, to play a detective reminiscent of Jack Nicholson’s character J.J. Gettis from Chinatown, which is an awesome movie (Faye Dunaway played the leading lady in that film). Watch Chinatown, watch The Toxic Avenger, avoid this movie. I wish I did.

Result: Not Recommended