My last article on this subject didn’t really need a followup. Nor did it need to come so soon after the last one. Does it really matter though?
10. Challengers of the Unknown
You know, I kind of feel bad for Fantastic 4. They’re the first family of Marvel after all, the foundation that allowed it to become the multi-billion dollar media empire that it is today (give or take a few bankruptcies). Before the Avengers did the first bit of Avenging, before the X-men were the buttmonkeys of the world, before Spider-Man shot his sticky white web all over men in strange costumes (Spidey’s first appearance was with the F4), the Fantastic 4 were capturing the hearts and minds of millions of children and nerds in those swinging Mad Men years of the early 1960s. Reed “Mr. Fantastic” Richards, Sue “Invisible Girl” Storm, her brother Johnny “The Human Torch” Storm, and Ben Grimm, the ever-lovin’ Thing, who knows where Marvel comics would be without the mythology that have built up around those 4 characters? Who knows if Spidey or the X-Men would have existed as they are now if not for the Fantastic family? Maybe Peter Parker would have been Chinese, or Magneto would have been an ape in a suit. No one but Ashton Kutcher in the sci-fi thriller film The Butterfly Effect could say for sure.
I’m giving a one paragraph dissertation about the Fantastic 4 not just because I recently viewed the trailer for the currently-upcoming Fantastic 4 reboot/reimagining, which I found just vague enough to make it look like every other modern sci-fi film farted out by Hollywood recently, but because it was actually DC that did the ‘four person team exploring new avenues of science and bizarre worlds’ thing first with the Challengers of the Unknown, who made their first appearance in Showcase #6 way back in February 1957. Although the exploits of pilot ‘Ace’ Morgan, pro risk taker ‘Red’ Ryan, strongman ‘Rocky’ Davis and scientist ‘Prof’ Haley have never reached the popularity of their cross company cousins, and indeed haven’t held a position of importance relative to what the Richards clan enjoys, but similarly they haven’t suffered the ignominious fate that have befallen that similar super team. The short-lived cartoon series, the generally unremarkable movies put out by Fox and the potentially unimpressive upcoming film haven’t done much to establish the 4 as a hot product in modern times, to the point that I think the most vocal of nerds want the F4 license to return to Marvel and Marvel Studios more for Doctor Doom and Galactus than the actual Fantastic Four itself. If Marvel can’t get their act together, why not let DC try their hand at a ‘Fantastic Four’ for a change and see what comes from it?
I suppose, given the success of Guardians of the Galaxy and such, that there’s no reason why the Challengers of the Unknown couldn’t make it as a movie, but I put it down as a TV show because the concept doesn’t seem necessarily film-exclusive. Perhaps, were this attached to the interconnected TV universe that Arrow and Flash, it could be used to introduce weird and obscure bits of the DC mythos to the general public that wouldn’t really work out on those more grounded shows. Imagine the Challengers traveling to a parallel Earth to help G.I. Robot and the Creature Commandos in World War II, or solving mysteries with Detective Chimp? It could be like DC mixed with Sliders, and that sounds fine with me. As long as its early Sliders and not season 3-4 Sliders, of course.
9. Book of Magic
Stop me if you heard this one before: Young seemingly average boy with black hair and glasses discovers that he is actually a wizard, and goes on wild magical adventures in preparation for his destiny as a super cool adult wizard, with fantasy elements and such juxtaposed by modern society.
Yes, that does indeed sound like Harry Potter, the titular boyish wizard of J.K. Rowling’s series of fantasy novels, but it also describes Timothy Hunter, boy wizard of DC’s fantasy series Books of Magic. Created by Sandman author Neil Gaiman back in 1990, Tim Hunter is destined to be the most powerful wizard in history, and every force with a horse in the magic race is falling over themselves to get a piece of that sweet, sweet potential power. Will Tim be a force for chaos or order? Good or evil? Due to the nature of comics we may never see an actual resolution, but at least you’ll have fun doing it.
The explosive popularity of Harry Potter has proven that fantasy series and boy wizards and crap like that can make mad bank, and now that Pottermania has been on the downslope it’s a perfect time for DC to slide in and pick up the slack with their own teen fantasy drama series. A Books of Magic series could also coceivably work as the cornerstone of the ‘dark’ end of the DC TV Universe, now that Constantine is currently out of the picture and NBC is holding off on renewing it. Tim’s level of importance in the magic means that any number of supernatural characters could be introduced fairly easily, either wanting to manipulate Hunter for their own ends or trying to eliminate the threat he ultimately poses. Constantine, Jason Blood, the Spectre, Felix Faust, the Endless, the sky's the limit. Frankly, I’d be surprised if DC hadn’t considered it before, and I don’t see why it couldn’t get at least two seasons if they put some work into it. I’d give it a try, at least.
8. House of Mystery
If you’re wondering, yes, a lot of these choices are going to going to be Vertigo titles. I’ve been on a huge Vertigo kick lately, mainly their old school stuff, Sandman, Shade and such, as close to superheroes as you can get without stepping on a cape. Since I’m such a slave to my influences, I figured what better way to show what I’m currently reading than shove a bunch of crap onto a list? Not that I don’t legitimately think that the comics on these lists could make for good shows, just laying it out there for you. I mean after sitting through 2 seasons of Arrow I would go for anything.
Though probably most known nowadays from such series as Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, Secret Six and the like, The House of Mystery (and it’s literal brother the House of Secrets) was a horror anthology series published by DC back in the day, in order to compete with EC and Fawcett. Much like with similar comic lines like EC Comic’s Vault of Horror and Tales from the Crypt, The House of Mystery featured a macabre narrator, in this case Cain and Abel of the Houses Mystery and Secrets respectively (and the bible I guess) weaving tales of spine-chilling horror and mind-numbing terror every week. Every week until the Comics Code was implemented that is, that infamous little bit of authoritarian legislation which aimed to keep comic books as saccharine as possible in order to keep children complacent and unquestioning about our military’s involvement in South America. Of course by the time that Cain & Abel appeared in Sandman the Comics Code had become obsolete, and what comics could show and what they could represent as a creative medium had changed significantly. Like having Doctor Destiny force a diner full of people to rape and torture each other to death, comics could delve into levels of depravity that the two brothers only hinted at in their old stories. Maybe Neil Gaiman just loves callbacks.
Honestly, the main reason I would want a House of Mystery/Secrets show is entirely based on the fact that there is, to my knowledge, no horror anthology TV on the market at the moment. I don’t know or care how they would tie it into their franchising plans, I just know there’s been a void left by shows like Twilight Zone, Night Gallery and Tales from the Crypt and there’s yet to be anything to take up the slack. Much like what I assume they’re doing with Gotham (never watched it, probably never will), it might be better for DC in the long run to show that, while they may be lagging behind in the movie race, they can make up for that with genre diversity. Much like how horror and romance books took a lion’s share of the comics market after the superhero recession, a series like House of Mystery could potentially keep the public eye on DC in the off chance of a similar case of mainstream apathy towards superhero fiction. Diversify ya bonds, DC.
7. The Spectre
Hero of the Golden Age, stalwart member of the Justice Society of America and spirit of divine vengeance, The Spectre has been entertaining fans of disproportionate retribution for about 5+ decades now. Much in the same way as Marvel’s Phoenix Force, the Spectre is a supremely potent source of power which can only be properly manipulated when a person is in possession of it. Also like the Phoenix, the Spectre tends to be an ultimately unstable figure, and can just as easily do as much bad than good when the stories call for it, whether it’s the Spectre trying to destroy all magic users in the universe or Phoenix trying to destroy the Earth again. Hey, when you make a character basically omnipotent you have to do something to keep them interesting time after time. Just ask Batman.
Although the Spectre has inhabited several people over the years, the first and most famous of those bodies was Jim Corrigan, who made his first appearance in More Fun Comics #52 back in February 1940. On his way to his engagement party, police officer Corrigan (a particularly hard-boiled one, according to wikipedia) is thrown into a barrel of cement and drowned. Instead of moving to the afterlife, as other people do presumably, Corrigan is tasked by a mysterious disembodied voice called The Voice to eliminate all evil. In so doing he becomes the grim and ghastly Spectre, dedicated to killing any and all things his undefined master determines is against its moral compass in horrifying ways. Later years would add to his mythos of course, making him an agent of DC’s divinity and such, but he’s basically a supernatural Son of Sam. Just as god intended.
Jim Corrigan has already been introduced in Constantine, so there is something in place if they wanted to go the Spectre show route (won’t matter much if Constantine is never renewed, but whatevs). Seems simple enough, a police procedural/detective show where the once dead Corrigan tracks down the worst of the worst in killers and enacts brutal Hannibal-style vengeance upon them. Throw in some supernatural stuff to keep it from being too formulaic, toss in some drama about how Jim can’t love because he’s dead or some shit, and have a cameo from Constantine every once in a while to keep the ‘interconnected universe’ thing and you’ve got yourself. Hell, it might end up working even better than Constantine, despite being an even more obscure character than Hellblazer’s lovable protagonist. Trust me DC, if there’s anything that television audiences love, it’s police procedural shows and graphic violence, and any show with both is bound to make some coin. Make it happen.
6. Justice League International
Truth be told, despite the critically lauded cartoon series a few years back, the multiple concurrently running titles and the fact that DC is shoving an extra 6 superheroes in what was originally going to be a sequel to Man of Steel, DC hasn’t always been as confident in the Justice League title as they seem to be now. Sure, when DC launched their Justice League comic, a sleek, modern version of their then-all star team up book the Justice Society, it was certainly a huge success. You had all the big stars of DC in one book, there to enjoy in a weekly series. Superman and Batman of course, but also Wonder Woman (who was actually the League secretary originally, which tells you a bit about what point in history this book came from), Aquaman, Martian Manhunter and the sleek, modern updates on the Flash and Green Lantern, Barry Allen and Hal Jordan respectively. As certain characters came and went, depending on storyline or editorial circumstances, we would also see the likes of Hawkman, Green Arrow and the Ray Palmer version of the Atom join the League throughout the years, but it is this lineup that DC tends to return. In fact, that’s literally the team that was being pushed by DC during their nu52 business, with Cyborg replacing Martian Manhunter At least we know they don’t dwell in the past, right?
In the late 80s, in the midst of declining sales and increased reader apathy, DC decided to kill off what was then the Justice League of America and relaunch the title as Justice League International, under the creative team of Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis. Canonically, the team was first formed by business tycoon Maxwell Lord, who was seeking a way to take the JL brand and expand it into a global superhero force, without the implied Western bias that a name like Justice League of America. Despite the best of intentions however, it seemed like the members of JLI were just as eager to mess with each other and goof off with each as they were with saving the world from whatever. Some time later they ended up splitting into two groups, the JLI and Justice League Europe, which kind of defeats the purpose of the ‘International’ title, but whatever. In-universe they were treated as a joke (at least until they rebooted the team), ‘pretenders to the throne’ of the Justice League legacy, but at least they were a funny joke. Unlike Vibe.
I have no delusions that my super crazy Doom Patrol cartoon could ever get made, but I don’t see any real issues with making a JLI cartoon beyond DC being afraid to confuse audiences with two Justice Leagues for some reason. It’s an action comedy series, so no need to worry about cramming needless comedy into something that doesn’t call for it. The JLI even counted Batman amongst its members, and DC loves shoving Batman into anything and everything they possibly can, so if they wanted to they could go that route as well. Considering that the JLI/JLE roster has number over a dozen people collectively though, I’d prefer to see what could be done with a sans-Bats team. Personally, I’m leaning towards a Ted Kord/Booster Gold/Guy Gardner/Fire/Ice/Elongated Man/Mister Miracle, but obviously I’m more interested in a return to the 80s team than any modern iteration (much like how DC returns to the Super Friends era Justice League nowadays, I say in a fit of dramatic irony). At worst it would be just another Teen Titans Go, at its best it would be a goofier Justice League Unlimited. I can easily ignore the former, but I’d really be interested in the latter. Make it happen.
5. Animal Man
Aside from, say, Swamp Thing and Marvelman, I don’t think there’s any superhero who’s gone from being a total relic of history into a critically-lauded fictional star than Buddy Baker. Originally a strictly D-list hero from the musty annals of the Silver Age, Animal Man was one of the collection of comic book that were retooled and reimagined in DC’s post-modern boom of the late 80s and early 90s. Helmed originally by Grant Morrison (who was also behind the Doom Patrol, which I’ve already talked way too much about) and later written by Peter Milligan (Shade, the Changing Man) and Jamie Delano (Hellblazer), Animal Man went from being a book about some dude who met got animal powers from aliens and decided to become a funny costume into an arthouse experiment in ecology, philosophy and metaphysics. Suddenly Buddy’s powers didn’t come from aliens, but from avatars which connected him to the mystical connecting force of all animal life-forms in the universe known as the Red (similar to the Swamp Thing’s the Green, naturally). Suddenly Buddy is traveling across space and time to confront Grant Morrison himself about the death of his wife and children. Suddenly he’s traveling through panels made through an emulation of William Burroughs's cut-up technique. In a way it was a continuation of what guys like Denny O’Neill, Frank Miller and of course Alan Moore were doing with the Question, Daredevil and Swamp Thing in the 80s, reinventing an old character for a modern audience, but at there was enough there generally that it felt like a natural character progression. However, the fact that Animal Man’s appearances within the DC universe were so limited made him pretty much a blank slate to mold in any whatever way Grant and the others wanted. Who would have guessed a guy who sounds like Hawkman’s lame cousin could eventually become a fantastic example of existentialism and metaphysics in comics?
For the purposes of this list though, I don’t have the Morrison-era Animal Man in mind, but actually the nu52 Animal Man that came out a few years ago. Written by Jeff Lemire (Sweet Tooth), Animal Man was a sort of a mean cross between a family dramedy crossed with a Cronenberg horror film in all the right ways. After a visit by ‘aliens’ imbues him with the ability to draw upon the abilities of any nearby animal, struggling actor Buddy Baker decides to become the superhero known as Animal Man, and in so doing manages to turn his life around. Years later, as a movie star, animal rights activist and popular crime-fighter, Buddy learns that those ‘aliens’ that gave him his powers were actually agents of the Red, one of the major forces of life in the universe. The Rot, the corrosive and corruptive forces of death, had killed the last champion of the Red, and Buddy’s existence as Animal Man was merely a insurance policy to safeguard the next champion from the forces of the Rot until they are ready to assume their role. Unfortunately that champion just so happens to be his daughter, and the Rot just so happens to be far more powerful than anyone could have imagined. It is, as the French would say, a ‘fucking clusterfuck of crazy situations and horrific body mutations’. Pretty good read, too.
So yeah, I’d like to see DC try their hand at an Animal Man show, maybe even an animated series like the CW is doing with Vixen, since her and Buddy’s powers are pretty much the same. Having a superhero who isn’t wrapped up in the secret identity angst bullshit that Flash and Arrow get into is always a plus, and if they tried out some 80s gorehound style practical effects as well I’d be into it even more.
4. Plastic Man
If you perused the comment section to the last article, although I don’t know why you would, you might recall that I heaped praise upon Grant Morrison’s run of JLA and cast doubt upon others because of the inclusion or exclusion of Patrick ‘Eel’ O’Brian, otherwise known as the elastic Plastic Man. That comment was made partially in jest, but it’s also true that ever since I first started reading comics, I’ve always been interested in the obscure and more offbeat heroes and villans than I was the mainstream. Batman was cool, but I was always interested in finding out more about Green Arrow and the Question. Superman was great, but give me a Captain Marvel comic any day of the week. It’s a large part of why I loved Justice League Unlimited and Batman: Brave and the Bold so much, just heroes galore. DC has over a hundred of the damn things, might as well use them.
This choice might be stretching the rules a bit (hardy har har), because Plastic Man is the only one on either of my lists to already have his own TV show. Specifically The Plastic Man Comedy/Adventure Show, which ran from 1979-1981. Produced by Ruby Spears Productions, otherwise known for creating Thundarr the Barbarian, the Mega Man cartoon and Rubik the Amazing Cube, the PMC/AS was generally...unremarkable. Eel is a secret agent or something, and he, his girlfriend and ethnic sidekick Hula Hula (better than Hal Jordan’s ‘Pieface’ or the Spirit’s ‘Ebony White’, but considering Plas already had a sidekick in the form of Woozy Winks, ultimately unnecessary) travel the world solving Scooby-esque mysteries and foiling the schemes of not-so-supervillains. Pretty typical Ruby-Spears/Hannah-Barbera fare, limited animation, corney humour, only really noteworthy for the fact that it was a DC (technically Quality) cartoon that didn’t feature Superman or Batman, which I think has only happened maybe twice.
Decades later, a pilot was made for a new Plastic Man show, which sometimes aired on the short-lived DCNation block on Cartoon Network (I believe some shorts were also made). Featuring Tom Kenney as the voice of Eel O’brian, who also voiced Plas in the Brave and the Bold, that pilot was exactly what I expected and, really, what I wanted from a Plastic Man cartoon: Looney Tunes with superheroes. Unfortunately that pilot never gave way to an actual show, so in this case I guess it’s no so much giving light to an idea that’s potentially good than it is recognizing a missed opportunity. Either way I want more Plastic Man, so make it happen. And make sure it’s not that shitty Wachowski Brothers version with Keanu Reeves as Plas either. That sounds as bad as that Jack Black Green Lantern idea that was being thrown around a few years back.
Yeah, that’s right. I read wikipedia sometimes.
3. Captain Marvel
No, not Shazam. I could really care less for DC’s sleek, modern, joyless version of Fawcett Comics’ most famous creation (more popular perhaps than even Superman, at one point in time), and I don’t care that DC’s Cinematic Universe is planning for a Shazam movie in 2019, with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson possibly in the role of Black Adam. All I know is that the Big Red Cheese has been screwed over by everybody over the years, from DC and Marvel, and he’s never gotten the respect in the modern day that he deserves. In my opinion, of course.
Captain Marvel is perhaps the epitome of wish fulfillment in comics. Orphaned by the death of his parents, cast onto the streets by a greedy, uncaring relative, young Billy Batson lives a harsh life in the alleyways of Fawcett City. One day in particular, Billy meets a strange old man, and in so doing is transported by a magical train to a magical dimension known as the Rock of Eternity. Once there, the strange old man reveals himself to be the wizard Shazam, imbued with the powers and traits of some the greatest gods and heroes of antiquity, and a defender of the good and innocent himself. The wizard has grown old however, and the pressing forces have forced him to find a person pure of heart and mind to take up the power and become the new champion, to find Billy Batson and bestow upon him the powers that Shazam commands. Whenever Billy speaks the name ‘Shazam’ (or ‘Captain Marvel’, as in the unfortunate case of Captain Marvel Jr.), he is transformed into Captain Marvel, the World’s Mightiest Mortal, defender of truth, justice, and all that stuff. From that day forward Billy, along with his extended Marvel Family, dedicates his life to protecting the people of Fawcett City and the rest of the world from mad scientists, magically-enhanced supervillains, and telepathic alien inchworms. You know, the normal stuff.
I know the current trend of DC is for ‘gritty’ and ‘dark’, so a Captain Marvel cartoon reminiscent of the original comics, or even a take on the 90s run or Jeff Smith’s Monster Society of Evil book is nigh on impossible. The thing is, as most people who aren’t in charge of DC have figured out, is that ‘dark and gritty’ is not equivalent to quality. Some characters work best with dark tones, the Question, Jonah Hex, Batman, Constantine, but why does Clark Kent need to brood as much as Bruce Wayne? Why can’t Captain Marvel stay within the realms of fantasy without dipping into all the depressing crap we all have to deal with on a day to day basis? I would think that the success of Guardians of the Galaxy proved that the manufactured angst of shows like Arrow isn’t the only possible route a superhero product can take. Like I mentioned way back on the House of Mystery entry, diversity is not a bad thing. Just because Batman is a popular superhero doesn’t mean every superhero needs to be Batman.
So yeah, bring back Captain Marvel.
2. Sandman Mystery Theatre
While I’ve said that the runs of O’Neill and Morrison on the Question and Animal Man are cases of reinvention, perhaps a more blatantly radical example would be Neil Gaiman’s infamous critically-acclaimed Sandman series. After all, Wesley Dodd, the Golden Age costumed adventurer otherwise known as the Sandman, isn’t really a part of the Sandman series at all. Instead we get tales of dark fantasy and metaphysical adventures (pretty much Neil Gaiman in a nutshell) with the literary Sandman, otherwise known as Dream, the physical embodiment dreaming for the entire universe, and his similarly D-named goth-punk brethren. It’s certainly an interesting series, if a bit heavy-handed at times, and if you haven’t read it before than I’d suggest trying it out for yourself. If you’re the kind of person who is way too into Tim Burton movies, than you’d probably find something to like there.
A few years later, in order to capitalize on the abundant popularity of the Sandman name, DC/Vertigo put out a short-lived series known as Sandman Mystery Theatre. Although not technically connected to Gaiman’s series (hence the addition of ‘Mystery Theatre’ to the title), the series did focus on Wesley Dodd, the Golden Age Sandman. With his trusty yet creepy mask, gas gun and socialite love interest Dian Belmont, Wesley fights against gangsters and bizarre monsters in the back alleys and shadowy corners of New York City during that titular Golden Age. And occasionally solves mysteries, perhaps in a theatrical manner.
Much like in the case of the Question, this seems to me like a relatively inexpensive way to get a superhero show on the market, seeing as the whole ‘costume’ is a old-timey suit, gasmask and a funny looking handgun. Of course I don’t know what being a period piece, as SMT really should be, does to the cost and audience interest for a show. What works for Mad Men and Penny Dreadful wouldn’t necessarily work out for Sandman Mystery Theatre to be sure, although perhaps the ‘pulp horror’ style of the show might draw some interest just based on its relative uniqueness. In an ideal world, I’d say it would look good on an HBO or a Showtime, right alongside the Question, mostly so that it wouldn’t have to worry about the continuity and other shit that would come with being on CW. Although I have been toying with a ‘Crisis on Multiple Earths’ idea that the Flash show could use to allow for Golden Age superheroes without affecting original continuity, but who knows how deep into that rabbit hole we could go before the TV audience throws up their collective hands and walks away from superheroes entirely. I already don’t give a shit about Arrow, and we’ve haven’t even gotten into it. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give it a shot.
And speaking of things that rely on continuity…
1. Starman
Truth be told, maybe Starman wouldn’t make for a good TV show.
Not that it couldn’t be done, I suppose. Or even that it could end up good, if it leaned more towards the Flash sides of things rather than Arrow, if it managed to get past the continuity issues having a continuous line of Starmen since the 40s (assuming it was thrust onto the CW), if it had the budget to make the Cosmic Rod not look like garbage, if etc., etc., etc. I guess moreso that Jamie Robinson run of Starman is so good, so interconnected with the history of the character and the DC universe, that a TV show attempting a more homogenized version of that story, if it would even look like the same story, just seems superfluous to me. Of course this whole thing is superfluous, so maybe I’m just being silly. It’s better overall if more people knew who Starman is than less, I guess.
Honestly, this whole thing has felt superfluous recently. Partly this list, which has taken far too much effort to write for how shitty it is. Partly life. which has been shitty whether I put effort into it or not. Still wishing I was like Tim Hunter I guess, with some kind of potential to look forward to, or like Billy Batson and Jack Knight, with some legacy to live up to as best I can. But I don’t. I’ve just been some jackass in the real world, wishing he was important to someone, but unable to spend a whole day alone with his own thoughts. The epitome of the daily grind, you could say, and I’m just so damn tired of it.
TV shows are good sometimes. So are comic books. If you have any idea of your own about it, feel free to share. Not with me necessarily, just anyone who will listen. Maybe it’ll happen one day.
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