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The Appropriate Tune - "Only Shallow", by My Bloody Valentine
There’s horror movies set on Christmas, horror movies set on Thanksgiving, there’s even some weirdos out there who make horror movies set on Halloween, but what about Valentine’s Day? Well I actually don’t know if this movie is set on Valentine’s Day, it just has Valentine in the title. Either way I’m watching it.
In My Bloody Valentine, Paul Kelman stars as T.J. Henniger, a young man living and working in a small mining town in deepest, darkest Canada known as Valentine’s Bluffs. Not much to do in a small mining town besides mining, so he and the rest of the swinging population are looking forward to the upcoming Valentine’s Day dance. Very excited, since there hasn’t been one for about 20 years. Something about a psychopathic miner who specifically kills people who hold Valentine’s Day parties so the town banned it, whatever. Sometimes you just need to get laid dude, I don’t know what to tell you.
It’s a slasher with the sweet maple flavor of Canada, jean jackets and all. The killer is fairly unique, with the dark suit and gas mask, killing folks with a pickaxe, but in all respects it’s a slasher. You’ve seen slasher movies presumably, you know the kind of stuff you’re going to see, and that’s what My Bloody Valentine delivers. It also gives you someone getting killed by having their face shoved in boiling hot dog water though, so there’s still a bit of innovation there if you’re worried about that.
Give My Bloody Valentine the thumbs up. You need a movie that has people getting killed that also speaks to your deep, irrational fear of being trapped underground, this movie will scratch the itch. Maybe next year I’ll write three paragraphs about the remake.
STATUS: RECOMMENDED
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